a phase

and here i am in front of my computer. being alone in my rent room, with reproduction chapter of campbell book beside me but i prefer to turn my self for a while. just for relax. well here it is the start to tell something.

i am now doing teaching practice in 3 Senior High School. as i told you before, i am not a smartest person in my college who brave to take a chance being a teacher (wanna be -which they called 'guru PPL') in that school, i just try to fulfill my curiousity and challenge my self. i know enough about the school because i have several friends back then from that school. most of them now in ITB and i still adore them. they're who active, very smart, and open minded. even they have a high academic target which i can't even imaging but they still have much time to play around. balancing their adolescence. so i really curious about their high school. what kind of school their are studying? how is the atmosphere of study there? how about the teacher and the learning process? those questions are cycling in my brain and lead me to take a chance for teaching practice there.

now is my 2nd month since i worked in that school. being a stranger and an amateur teacher. and as i thought before, it not really that simple and easy. i have to be more focus to prepare the lesson both for the material and media, i have to read more books, and doing some brainstorming to have both a creative and meaningful learning. deadline wherever! everyweek! you know it's really took much time, even it's challenge my self and gave me a lot of precious experience but sometimes i feel tired and kinda bored. andddd it's about 3 month to go. again my thesis also need so much attention and energy to do, a month ago i just focusing to adapt in my teaching practice but now it can't be anymore. my research gonna begin in the end of April and all of the instruments should be done at least in the end of this month. if i want to finish my thesis in July, everything should be done based on that planning. aaaaaaaaa wanna cry and hug my mom! insecure feeling, guilty, anxious come often which really break my motivation, make me down. even if i know there is no easy way out for everything and Allah give me such examination to make me strong and learn more but sometimes i think i can't handle it. yet still, this is a phase of life and i have to take it although i said i don't want. maybe it just talking about time, to adapt well.

back to the teaching practice, literally i do love being an educator, meet the student with different characters that can cheer my self up even give me a meaningful learning of life. but it's really need my deeper responsibilty and sometimes decrease my confident to do it. teacher is a model they said, and it's not that easy to be a good model. but i still learn how to teach with soft heart and intelligence brain, how to behave nicely inside and outside, and how to dealing with the teaching stuff. as the common dream of pre-teacher, i really want to inspire my students with everything that i do. even it's not easy, i'll try my best to do it. insya Allah.

i need so much power and million support to go through this semester instead of complaining. no time to rest, no need to escape. somehow, its gonna be like this, whenever and wherever i am, this phase of life is gonna be my life (mau gak mau). so just keep going, keep positive thinking, everything is gonna be alright if we throw it back to Allah and just for Allah.

as my student said,
in school we learn the lessons before we take the test, in life we take the test before we learn the lesson. 
and i go for both of them xoxo

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

1

Jangan sombong, banyakin bersyukur

sahabat kakak